You may be wondering where the years have gone but it’s freedom at last, your years of hard work have finally paid off. This exciting chapter of life you have always waited for, after many decades of allowing the rigours of 9-5 to shape your daily life. This amazing journey comes with a deep sense of anxiety and anticipation about what the future holds, it is also a time to celebrate your achievements over the years and look forward to discovering the new with family and friends.
How we deal with situations in relationships comes with opportunities and challenges. Let us explore ways you can maintain relationships in retirement with families and friends, whether your other half is still working, children have left home (empty nester), a single parent, or parents of older children still living at home.
Parents whose children have left Home (Empty Nesters)
I always ask myself, “where did the chaos and the noise go?”. Oftentimes, our lives evolve around our children when they are younger, retirement thoughts loom when we are no longer responsible for them and they eventually move out of the house. This “empty nest” stage can be intimidating as well as liberating. On the one hand, you have more freedom to travel, engage in hobbies, and spend time with your partner. On the other hand, having no children at home can cause feelings of loss and loneliness.
This is the time to reassess your relationship with your children. Reel back the memories of old and make new ones as you rekindle your relationship. Take part in activities you both enjoy but have never had time to do. It could mean picking up a new activity like hiking, visiting destinations you have always wanted to see, inviting them on a family holiday or weekend breaks or just spending peaceful evenings together bingeing on films on Netflix, walking or cooking a meal.
Your newfound freedom should not be in the way of strengthening your family relationships. Regular communication via phone conversations, video chats, or in-person meetings can help bridge the distance and maintain intimacy among the family.
Adult Children Living at Home
Most young adults dream of when they will leave home just as the society expects at a certain age. In recent times, the cost-of-living crisis, shortage of housing, student loan debt, and job market uncertainties are key reasons many adults stay at home longer. This might not be an ideal situation as there might be some associated challenges, but there are also great opportunities for family unity and support. Understanding these financial strains as a retiree can make it easier for you to sympathise with your children’s circumstances and create a supportive environment.
It is important to note that while having your children within reach is wonderful, you should also encourage their independence. Discuss their long-term plans and set expectations for their involvement with household responsibilities which will help them develop useful skills for when they eventually move away from home. Maintaining personal space will allow everyone to pursue their interests without feeling overwhelmed.
Working Spouse
An instance where you are retired and your significant other carries on working, might be due to different reasons. While the working partner could feel under pressure to provide financial support for the household, the retired partner might feel alone or guilty. It is advisable that you have an open and honest discussion with your partner, set expectations, dispel fears, worries and anxieties the other person might have and assure one another. The retired spouse may consider taking on a part-time role or volunteer options, as well as taking on extra home duties. Relate offers support and guidance to strengthen relationships in retirement.
Take advantage of this moment to deepen your bond by spending quality time together at home, on a date night, or a weekend away. Organise exciting events that you can look forward to so both partners feel loved, happy and fulfilled. Perhaps, you may use this time to start planning for when you both eventually retire. Do you fancy focusing on yourself? – organise holidays or nights out with old friends. See our article on Staying Socially Connected in the Golden Years for more tips.
Single Parents of Adult Children
The bond between single parents and their children can be very strong as they have always been there for one another emotionally and financially. It is important to redefine this relationship now they are grown up and living their own lives. For example, your relationship with them shifts from a parental role to a more supportive, advisory role.
While it is important to maintain your independence, think of things you can do on your own – spend time with old friends, volunteer. You could also find activities you all can enjoy to further strengthen your bond and create lasting memories, such as hobbies, travel, or simply spending quality time together.
Get Excited for Your Next Adventure
Regardless of your situation, retirement gives you the opportunity to live your best life, rediscover yourself, pursue your passion. Be ready to take the plunge even if you do not have all the answers to the challenges along your way. Create a strong support system of friends, children, grandchildren and extended family you may not have seen as often during your working years, and the local community. Keep in touch with them through frequent communication and visits to provide emotional support.
Let’s start the conversation
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